I’m trying not to take criticism personally. I really am. But being questioned as an adult in front of an entire class definitely didn’t boost my morale for finishing this film.
I pay my own tuition. I pay my sister’s tuition. I work four jobs. I pay my own rent. I may not have everything figured out in the “real world,” but I am an adult in the spaces that matter to me. I’m here to learn, to make mistakes, to take risks, to make the kinds of “kid fuck-ups” that are supposed to be part of growth.
It’s hard to remember that when every misstep feels like it’s under a microscope. But I’m learning to separate critique from my value. This film, these challenges, these hardships that unfortunately leak into my art...they don’t define me. They’re part of my process. I’m still showing up, still creating, still learning, even when I feel like lighting myself and this film on fire.
I didn’t expect this process to be so complicated. The ideas I had at the start felt so clear in my head, but turning them into reality has been a struggle. I’ve spent hours sending emails, requesting permissions, chasing leads, and often the answers are “no” or just silence. At first, that felt like failure.
I’ve had to make more compromises than I expected. Some things I couldn’t get the rights to, and some things I just wasn’t comfortable doing. But slowly, I’m learning to see these compromises not as giving up, but as opportunities to get creative in new ways. Even when it feels like I’m straying from my original vision, there’s progress here. I’m learning to trust my instincts, work with the tools I have, and find ways to tell my story authentically, even if it doesn’t look exactly like I first imagined.
Resilience isn’t about everything going smoothly. It’s about continuing even when doors close and things don’t match your vision. Sometimes the work itself teaches you more than the final product ever could.
Aside from that lovely excerpt, I’ve put together a draft introduction. I tried to incorporate much of the feedback I received, though I’ll admit this still feels like a chore, which is probably obvious in how long I procrastinated writing this post.
Reflection - 12/16
Looking back, being questioned in front of the class was hard on my confidence, but it also forced me to confront how I respond to critique. Knocked me down a peg...while I was at negitive pegs at the time. At the time, it felt overwhelming, especially while balancing multiple responsibilities and trying to manage a complex project. Since then, I’ve realized that criticism doesn’t diminish my work or my growths. Even if the project didn’t unfold perfectly, showing up, making decisions, and learning to navigate feedback are what really mattered. Which in the end I did recive and will take note of it for the future of this project.
